Maryland, Oh Maryland

Here’s the deal. The Maryland state song, “Maryland, My Maryland,” is a relic of the Civil War. Written in 1861 by Baltimore native and Confederate sympathizer James Ryder Randall, the song lyrics urge Marylanders to secede from the Union, join the Confederacy and battle the “Northern scum.”

For over 40 years, politicians in Annapolis have tried to abolish or replace “Maryland, My Maryland.” With the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis and subsequent national protests, the Maryland legislature is once again considering scrapping the song.

As a patriotic Son of Maryland, I hereby submit my easy-peasy substitution, harking back to the original, but also aware of the modern times in which we live.

 

*************** Maryland, Oh Maryland **************

 

You, our Southern belle of fun

Maryland!

Giggle in our midst a ton

Maryland!

Even under the midday sun

Your blue-eyed glance doth stun

Every single son of a gun

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Our battle flag held aloft so sure

Maryland!

Swift of stirrup, free of burr

Maryland!

A champion so sleek and pure

She causes our dear hearts to stir

And all the horsemen knew her

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Lest our past become a chore

Maryland!

And epic tales be heard no more

Maryland!

Of Grant and Lee, such a bore

How uncivil was the war

That shook the nation to its core

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Slave state, free state, pick a side

Maryland!

Poe came to Balto but he died

Maryland!

Not from lynching but a long sad slide

A maudlin drunk he was quite pie-eyed

And after his death many people lied

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

For you, young souls are pining

Maryland!

We see you smile, blond tresses shining

Maryland!

Every cloud has a silver lining

’Though Confederate statues leave us whining

And don’t forget to kiss my heinie

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

 

Finally a chart buster!

“Back in the Pandemic.” 4:36. Recorded live in the studio by the Swedish duo realPfft with a guest guitarist, a guest drummer and a guest producer. Also, an audio engineer with issues. This is take 9 of 16 takes recorded over a three day period. By the last take, all the noisy blemishes had been cleaned up, the impossible guitar had been tamed and the Chinese gong no longer blew the walls out. Unfortunately, the song was no longer any fun.

Boring.

Despite the coronavirus, realPfft’s business manager was visiting from the States. He had gotten a good price on his plane ticket. Now he was unhappy and he said as much. Insisting on his right to listen to all sixteen takes, he came to take number 9 and said, “There it is. That’s the song! What have you been doing the last day and a half?”

Bands have broken up over less, but these are all Swedes and they like one another. Agreeing that take 9 needed more treble, that’s all they added, leaving everything else alone. Unrefined. With a nod to the Beatles, a punk rock sense of rebellion and singer Clive Flatenbad channeling Joy Division, here is realPfft’s “Back in the Pandemic.”

Cover photo from singer Clive Flatenbad’s archive. Club Ultra, Handen, Sweden.

Best regards!

Kev

Liar… pants on fire!

Big bad DJ can’t get his facts straight to save his butt. His schtick do get old.

Being a klutz, I learned early on to say “Mea culpa, my bad, mea maxima culpa, my totally bad. My fault!”

Donnie Trump learned PR and litigation from New York lawyer and political fixer Roy Cohn… whose philosophy was “Never admit error, always double down.” Not a very smart idea if you want to make friends and influence people.

Meanwhile, Trump cannot differentiate between facts on the ground and his personal  beliefs. His view of the world doesn’t correspond with a lot of other people’s view of the world. Not to put too fine a point on it, you could almost call him a

Pandemic!

If you wonder why my ship never reaches port, here’s a typical example. A totally dynamite song by the Swedish band realPfft, “Pandemic!” came out at the beginning of April. Only it started off with a bad copy. This had never happened to us before. We had already released 40 songs, the big 4-0, and our distributor had never missed. Well, I learned not to submit our songs on Sunday evenings when the computers get overloaded.

Suddenly we needed to redistribute the song, which took three weeks. Okay, but then I got sick. A great song that should have been America’s new national anthem and almost nobody heard it!

So from now on, I am going to have routines and follow them as I live and breathe.

Enjoy!

Kev