Maryland, Oh Maryland

Here’s the deal. The Maryland state song, “Maryland, My Maryland,” is a relic of the Civil War. Written in 1861 by Baltimore native and Confederate sympathizer James Ryder Randall, the song lyrics urge Marylanders to secede from the Union, join the Confederacy and battle the “Northern scum.”

For over 40 years, politicians in Annapolis have tried to abolish or replace “Maryland, My Maryland.” With the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis and subsequent national protests, the Maryland legislature is once again considering scrapping the song.

As a patriotic Son of Maryland, I hereby submit my easy-peasy substitution, harking back to the original, but also aware of the modern times in which we live.

 

*************** Maryland, Oh Maryland **************

 

You, our Southern belle of fun

Maryland!

Giggle in our midst a ton

Maryland!

Even under the midday sun

Your blue-eyed glance doth stun

Every single son of a gun

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Our battle flag held aloft so sure

Maryland!

Swift of stirrup, free of burr

Maryland!

A champion so sleek and pure

She causes our dear hearts to stir

And all the horsemen knew her

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Lest our past become a chore

Maryland!

And epic tales be heard no more

Maryland!

Of Grant and Lee, such a bore

How uncivil was the war

That shook the nation to its core

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Slave state, free state, pick a side

Maryland!

Poe came to Balto but he died

Maryland!

Not from lynching but a long sad slide

A maudlin drunk he was quite pie-eyed

And after his death many people lied

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

For you, young souls are pining

Maryland!

We see you smile, blond tresses shining

Maryland!

Every cloud has a silver lining

’Though Confederate statues leave us whining

And don’t forget to kiss my heinie

Maryland! Oh Maryland!