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Posts tagged ‘MAGA’

Season Forgiving 2022

Ho ho ho, ‘tis the Season to be Jolly and what could make me Jollier than receiving a gift of hard cash from you, a contributor to our Annual Season Forgiving at the Oxburg Historical Hysterical Commemorative Something or Other Entrepreneurial Foundation Collection Fund Drive?

Nothing.

Nothing could make me happier.

YOUR NAME— that’s right— through the wonders of data science, YOUR NAME will be exhibited in the space below. In caps if you want it. Or bold. Or both, caps and bold text,

__________________________________________________

holy mackerel you can’t beat that!!! For a measly contribution of $50.

For $100, I personally will get down on my knees and say a prayer or two in your honor.

Oxburg, Beloved Oxburg, named for our Founding Father John Ox, a Calvinist who settled in Catholic Maryland during the Colonial Period.

Your gift will help maintain and preserve the memory of our historical past: Oxburg Courthouse as depicted in memory and photographic image— alas, not audio— torn down in 2006 to build the Royal Guardian Apartments. Or Haley’s Crossroad, scene of the Haley Country Store and Gas Pump, a scene of nostalgic yarn and Oxburgian humor. Where Old Cyrus Haley held the Annual Turkey Shoot in preparation for Thanksgiving in what today is Natalie Woods. Falling down drunk. Demolished in 1964 to build the Annex to the Town Hospital. The store, not Cyrus.

In these difficult times— unrest in the Middle East, war in Ukraine, I stubbed my left big toe— may a blessing be upon you for pulling out that old plastic card and contributing. Contributing ‘till it hurts. Contributing more than ‘till it hurts.

The story of Oxburg is the story of America. Our country wouldn’t be what it is today— MAGA hats and angry mobs, armed militiamen in tactical gear hovering over election day drop boxes, multi-billionaires screwing up on social media, Chinese apps and Italian sausage— if not for the hard sweat and aching backs of our Founding Fathers who tilled the fields and husked the corn and baked the bread that sustained many a pilgrim through a hard, cold winter, snow knee-deep against the walls of rustic cabins, the smell of spruce wafting through the night air from the brick chimneys of our forebears.

I could go on, but who needs to???

Just send cash.

Kevin Feingold, Esquire       

Screwing with the Election

A little history. The 2016 election of Donald Trump consisted of multiple train wrecks.

A reality TV star and erstwhile businessman, DJ Trump had been in people’s living rooms for 14 seasons of The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice. These programs were structured and edited by producer Mark Burnett of “Survivor” fame to make Trump appear a boardroom guru. They sold the television-addicted American people the illusion that Trump was a business genius. Trump’s five bankruptcies might say otherwise, but once people became fans, no amount of bitter reality will ever dispel their loyalty: Good season or bad, Yankee fans are Yankee fans. Trump fans love their man. The more outrageous he behaves, the more they love him!

Trump was able to convince rural and suburban white America that he— a New Yawk real estate mogul— cared about them. America’s “forgotten” men and women, smarting from liberal neglect, they flocked to Trump, who promised to be their champion. A genius at branding, he copyrighted the slogan Make America Great Again. His followers are able to read into that whatever they want.

People may not have been sold on The Donald, but they truly hated privileged, money-grubbing Bill and Hillary Clinton who shamelessly pawed home ridiculous speaking fees on the lecture circuit. A vote for Donald Trump was a vote against decadent liberal corruption.

(What a joke! Far from Draining the Swamp, Trump Inc. has turned the federal government into a cash cow. Many government employees, including the Secret Service and Vice President Pence, have stayed overnight at many Trump properties, paying top dollar. In taxpayer money. A graduate of the Wharton School of Business, Class of ’68, Trump is a genius at manipulating financial systems to his advantage.)

The media went gaga over Trump in 2016, broadcasting his rallies day and night, free of charge. Even when Trump belittled them over their fixation on ratings… “I get the best ratings!…” like lapdogs, they came trotting back for more. At one point, in a fit of pique, Trump prohibited journalists from The Washington Post from attending his morning rally. Yet, four hours later, there he was, giving a one-on-one interview to Post journalist Philip Rucker. By running for president, Trump made fools of the media.

Twitter has completely changed the communication landscape, allowing @realDonaldTrump to communicate directly with his followers anytime day or night, unfiltered and uncensored.

Glavset, The Internet Research Agency troll farm in St. Petersburg, Russia, hijacked Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms in 2016, sowing division among Americans. Who knew? Cyber warfare, they used clever memes and fake persona. Stoking Americans’ anger, their disinformation campaigns were incredibly successful.

At the Clinton-Trump debates, Trump bullied, interrupted, lied and wandered the stage. Unprepared for his shenanigans, the moderators sat helplessly by, playing stooge to Trump’s comedian. “You’re the puppet!” shouted Donald Trump and no one called him to order. When he went walk-about on-stage, bodily threatening Hillary, no moderator politely requested that Trump return to his place at the lectern.

A dissembler, Hillary Clinton had great difficulty displaying honesty. Brittle and apprehensive, she wouldn’t even admit having pneumonia on the campaign trail until she collapsed on the sidewalk.

Like a throbbing toothache, WikiLeaks released a daily dribble of Hillary Clinton Campaign Chairman John Podesta’s emails all 30 days leading up to the election. A Russian military intelligence cyber espionage group codenamed “Fancy Bear” has been credited with the hack. More cyber warfare, these gmail missives were a total disaster, displaying the Democrats at their worst.

Ten days before the election, FBI Director James Comey announced that the bureau was re-opening the investigation into Hillary’s emails. Just when the campaign thought they had successfully left the issue of Hillary’s private email account behind them… BAM! There it was again.

Trump gamed the Electoral College brilliantly, winning the presidential election even without winning the popular vote. One vote in Wyoming is equal to 3.6 votes in California. Trump made sure to get those red state votes. That gave him the election.

Election night TV coverage completely missed the boat. It sounded like this: “…Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Michigan… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Wisconsin… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has taken Ohio… Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Pennsylvania and Florida…. Meanwhile, Hillary… Oh, my God! Donald John Trump is the next President of the United States of America.”

Who decides?

At 60%, White Americans are the majority.

Hispanic and Latino Americans, the largest ethnic minority, comprise 18% of the population.

African Americans comprise 13.4% of the population.

Asian Americans are 5.6% of the population.

If the election of 2020 is a last gasp of white dominance over American life, these numbers show that the minority vote alone cannot carry a national election.

On any given day, Trump has the support of 35% of the electorate. Unshakable, they are his fan base. Whether traditional Republicans, Confederate flag-waving patriots, supporters of the Second Amendment, adherents to The Lost Cause of the War Between the States, QAnon true believers or “I Got Mine” blacks and Latinos, come Hell or high water, they will vote for Trump.

Trump supporters will believe anything he says. With their short attention span, they even allow him to change his story from one press conference to the next.

As Chico of the Marx Brothers said, “Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”

Like a good soap opera, every day Trump presents a new episode, dominating the news cycle.

California and the western states are getting burnt to a cinder, but El Trumpo considers global warming to be a hoax… invented by China!

No, Mr. President, the military doesn’t wish to fight endless wars in order to please the armaments industry. Read my lips: The Pentagon is not manned by war profiteers. Slurs against the military— like your slights against the United States Postal Service— force Americans to choose between loyalty to you, sir, or to the country’s most cherished traditions. Being asked to choose between a Johnny-come-lately like Donald J. Trump and the Pony Express, most people choose the mail carriers of 1860. Americans are proud of their heritage, despite Republican gaslighting to the contrary.

Just as he did in 2016, Trump claims the election is rigged against him, questioning the entire process. Apparently, democratic elections don’t suit him. Afraid that he cannot win fair and square, he’s busy farting around.

Russia is up to its old tricks, attacking the Democrats and trying to tilt the election in Trump’s favor, but Donald J. Trump insists on willfully ignoring foreign meddling.   

Trump even prevaricates over whether he will peacefully leave office, should he fail to win.

Now that’s entertainment! That’s Trump.

You decide!

Desperate to win re-election, Trump hems and haws about a vaccine for the coronavirus, faux predicting a roll-out as soon as… October!!!

An October Surprise, as they call it in presidential elections.

Yeah. Right.

Since the pandemic will lead to record levels of mail-in voting, Trump insists— without proof— that mail-in voting leads to voter fraud. Meanwhile, Melania and he— claiming the Mar-a-Lago Country Club in Florida as their official place of residence— are mailing in their ballots. Talk about cognitive dissonance, even Trump appears confused.

Trump’s newly installed Postmaster General Louis DeJoy seems intent on mucking up the election. He has overseen the removal of mailboxes and the dismantling of sorting machines, even while governors all across the country warn that they may not be able to handle the expected volume of mail-in voting. Is this man purposely crippling the postal system and, if so, on whose order, Mr. President?

Everywhere, Americans fueled by white grievance continue to vent over Obama and the Democrats.

Those white Americans will not vote for Kamala Harris who is part Indian and part black. Interestingly, now that the Republican Party is led by a wild card, the Dems have gone white bread in Joe Biden. We shall see if “Drain the Swamp!” Trumpers are in sufficient pain to cross over and vote for Biden, an Establishment figure.

According to the Trump family members who spoke at the four-day Republican Convention— dutiful sons Don Jr. and Eric, Melania dressed in military garb, daughters Ivanka and Tiffany, plus daughter-in-law Lara Trump— Joe Biden is a socialist Prince of Darkness, a pawn of the radical left who will destroy America’s lily white suburbs by flooding them with low-cost apartment houses!

I shudder at the thought.

But it’s a funny thing, people are tired of the anger and acrimony. The more strident Trump becomes nearing Election Day, the more people tune him out.

The presidency of Donald John Trump is a white American problem. No amount of marching in the streets, protests by Black Lives Matter protesters, night-time demonstrations, riots, looting, vandals or bullsheit news coverage both online and off will decide this election.

White America will decide this election.

Multi-cultural America is suffering growing pains. The entire world is watching as America struggles to decide what kind of country it wants to be.